Other stepmoms find themselves having to support the household almost entirely because the amount Dad has to pay leaves him with little to contribute to his new family. It’s far too easy for a stepmother to use money as a bargaining tool as she becomes more and more resentful about the compromises she is asked to make.
You’re in a partnership now, however, and no matter how you divvy up the funds, you are both responsible for your combined financial health. Ruth Hayden, a financial planner and author of the book For Richer, Not Poorer: The Money Book for Couples, says she stresses the importance of working through the difficult money conversations with your spouse as early as possible and getting your plans on paper, especially since stepfamily dynamics can be rife with conflict.
“Even mature couples think that love is going to solve everything. As soon as you have an emotional problem with the marriage, it’s exacerbated by the fear that you’re going to lose half of everything you have. If the paperwork is in order and feels fair, then they shelve it. Now they can go on with their lives, and when an emotional issue hits, it doesn’t get exacerbated by the fear.