When I moved into a house with three complete strangers, who would leave their bags, shoes, toys, coats, gloves, balloons, papers, and garbage all over the living room and dining room, I would hyperventilate every time I arrived home to a space that looked as if it had been ransacked by robbers. It reminded me of my college days living in an apartment with a bunch of roommates who left their belongings out everywhere.
Only, with roommates, I was always able to ask if they could please at least keep the common areas clean. With the three kids I’d just moved in with I was too scared to suggest they take their stuff up to their rooms or pick their dirty towels up off the floor for fear that I’d mess up our relationships. Instead, I would freak out on Arne whenever his kids had trashed the common areas.
It quickly became apparent that our marriage would suffer if I continued to feel helpless and take it out on him. We hoped that if we made “Keep common areas clean” one of our household rules, at least I would feel that I could safely tell the kids to clean up rather than stuff my annoyance and wait like a time bomb for Arne to get home so I could go off.
I’m happy to report it worked. I suddenly got to say, “Hey guys, remember we have to take our toys upstairs? House rule.” And they would do it with only a small amount of grumbling. If you set up detailed household rules with your husband, you can help give the kids boundaries and feel as if you have some say in what goes on in your house, without the kids thinking you’re the bad guy.
In other words, you’re giving yourself the best publicity possible. To help you get started, here are the rules we came up with for our house.